Just Sayin': Where it feels like you never left home
New Straits Times (Columns)
13 Sep 2006
Brian Yap

UNSURPRISINGLY, millions of tourists from near and far visit Malaysia every year, and the number of arrivals has been rising steadily.

With 2007 being Visit Malaysia Year, even larger numbers are expected to head our way. And why not? What’s not to love about this beautiful tropical nation?

Keep quiet, you cynic, that was a rhetorical question.

All kidding aside, Malaysia does have a lot to offer. There are some magnificent beaches on the east coast and stunning diving spots in Sabah and Sarawak that are reputably some of the best in the world. Our lush national parks abound with fascinating flora and fauna, while our mountains make wonderful hiking trails.

Major cities, especially Malacca and George Town, offer insights into our cosmopolitan history, both through their monuments and past architecture. Meanwhile, our thriving capital boasts modern architectural feats and all the vibrancy of a thriving Asian city.

Let’s not forget our cuisine and dining culture — exquisite flavours inexpensively served at simple street stalls that are frequented by all, without concern for class.

It’s ironic then, that I’m often at a loss as to what to show visitors to Kuala Lumpur. Like many, I've had to play tour guide to visitors coming from faraway places like the US, UK and, perhaps the most foreign of all, Singapore. I don’t know what those who show tourists around for a living do, but my itinerary for my visiting friends would usually consist of a lot of eating and drinking.

It’s partly because sitting at a mamak stall is easier than walking up all those stairs to Batu Caves, but, at the same time, I’m hoping they would be so overwhelmed by good food that I wouldn’t have to wrack my brain thinking of other interesting things to do in this city.

Because eating, drinking, and the usual KLCC, Petaling Street, Chow Kit and Little India aside, what else is there to do in the city centre? I could bring visitors from one mall to another, from Suria KLCC to 1-Utama, Mid Valley Megamall to Sungei Wang Plaza, but the thing is, I’d rather not give them the impression that KL is a city that revolves around shopping malls that are filled with the same international chain stores they’re likely to find at home. Even though that is probably true. As enticing as it is, however, I also rather not treat them to the thrill of being terrorised by biker gangs, even though some have considered the daredevil stunts they perform a potential tourist attraction.

I know it’s probably my visiting friends being silly. After all, just because the bikers travel in large packs and use their strength in numbers to turn the city’s roads into their personal playground doesn’t mean they are not fun to watch. But you know these tourists. Fussy.

In most developed cities, museums would usually be an obvious destination for tourists. But when asked, I’d rather pretend there aren’t any museums here. Better to lie than embarrass my city by showing visitors the dreadful condition of our museums. The only exception I can think of would be the Islamic Arts Museum Malaysia, which is privately run — make of that what you will — but the others, however, seem at a loss to what their purpose is.

Part of entertaining visitors, I suppose, is not only to guide them to places they should go to, but also where they should avoid. Why, for example, would you visit a chocolate boutique in KL, not exactly a city known for exceptional chocolates?

Yet I see busloads of unsuspecting tourists being brought there every day as if they were in Belgium or Switzerland. Come on, even Lebanon is more well known for chocolates than we are.

Tourists might also end up thinking KL has Middle Eastern roots when they see that Arab Square in the city, or perfumes imported from the region, and hookah pipes, not realising that it’s actually because the city can sometimes be so insecure about its own attractions that it feels the need to make tourists feel like they’ve never left home.

Tourists from the West, on the other hand, tend to frequent bars and clubs when they are on vacation, making them a supposedly key factor in drawing them to KL. While I’m sure people like to unwind after a day of walking along non-existent sidewalks, it’s hard to imagine anyone coming to KL solely for its nightlife. Still, clubs and bars must be of some significance since we’re considering extending opening hours all in the name of tourism — it’s not like we’d do something like that for locals. You know the locals. Prone to illness of the social kind.

Ultimately, however, I think I know why I always have a hard time thinking of interesting things to show visitors to the city. In the zeal to attract tourist dollars, it does seem that KL has lost a bit of its own flavour, preferring instead to present itself as whatever others want it to be. That’s why Muzium Negara is dilapidated but hookahs are ubiquitous.

This mindset is most apparent on Jalan Bukit Bintang. The latter half of the busy shopping street is livelier than I’ve ever remembered it, but it might as well be renamed Jalan Urut Kaki. Massages and reflexology might not have been a big part of KL before, but at least now the tourists can have something to do at night.

As for me, I now know where to bring any future visitors after a good meal on Jalan Alor.